I’m not sure really where to start with this post, or what I’m trying to achieve. However, I’m sure there’s quite a few ladies in my situation. I’m going to turn 30 in four months, and I feel like my age is really catching up with me, which is such a shame, because I should be in my prime.
Yes, I know, it’s not that old. But it’s more about what is expected of women when they turn 30 rather than worrying about ageing and wrinkles appearing. This has to be the age where women face the most pressure. Society places so many rules and pressures on us, that if you aren’t the norm, then you start to think something is wrong with you.
All my friends are either married or engaged. Some are starting to have babies. Once you hit around 25, when you meet up with your friends, most of your conversations are about weddings, planning weddings, hen do’s, engagement parties.
Although it’s obviously lovely and you have some amazing experiences, it does get a tad exhausting, especially when it hasn’t happened for you yet. I just wonder why there has to be so much pressure on women at this age? I thought that society had evolved to be better than that, but it hasn’t happened yet.
What happens if your life plan isn’t centred around procreating and having an enormous £30,000 wedding? It’s incredible what people spend on weddings these days. It’s one day of your life, and you could use that money to put a deposit on a house instead.
It’s just hard to focus on other things that you want to achieve in life when you are surrounded by domestic goddesses and those who seem to be living the dream with their husband and enormous house. The things is, that in many (very different) ways, I am living the dream too, it’s just so easy to forget the blessings I have that don’t involve these things.
Comparing yourself to others is extremely unhealthy. It brings out the worst in people. All that time you are spending thinking ‘why can’t I have what she has?’ Or ‘why isn’t my life perfect?’ makes you miss out on what is really special in your life. You miss moments because your mind is elsewhere.
I have spent far too much time worrying about the things I should be doing when I should have been appreciating the things I have. However, when you have all this stuff going on around you, it can be tough not to let these thoughts creep into your head. It’s really bloody hard being a woman of our age, and because of society’s expectations, turning 30 is becoming a terrifying prospect.
I may not have some of the things that society wants me to have, but I do have other brilliant things instead. I’m not the norm, I work for myself, I love my job and I’m extremely proud of the career I have created for myself. I have met my soulmate, and we have two wonderful dogs, who bring a lot of joy into our life.
At this age I should be feeling like I have my whole life ahead of me, and being excited about entering my 30’s.
Instead I feel like I’m being pushed into a corner, and told how I should be living my life. I’m forgetting how far I have come, because people are telling me where I should be.
What if you want to do things differently? Is it really that bad to swap things around a little? You don’t have to buy a house, get engaged, get married and have children in that exact order.
We aren’t living in the 1950’s anymore. It’s 2016, and we have the flexibility to do things differently. Plus, a lot of people are forced into doing things differently because they can’t afford to do everything all at once.
With house prices being so ridiculously out of reach, weddings costing a bomb, and the cost of bringing up a child skyrocketing, it’s impossible to have everything. So instead of yearning for what everyone else has, you need to decide on your priorities.
Would you really prefer to spend all your savings and get into debt for a wedding, or would it make more sense to buy a house or spend this money on having kids? Now that I’m nearly 30, science says I shouldn’t wait too much longer to have kids. My ovaries are shouting at me and telling me to get a bloody move on.
I don’t have time to save for enough for a deposit, pay for a wedding and then eventually try and get preggers. So my partner and I are going to have to make a choice, one that, thankfully at this point we both agree on.
So it’s time for me to shut down those expectations, to try and balance my thoughts, and to focus on the here and now. Soz if this sounds like a bit of a moan, I just needed to have a brain dump, and from some people I have been speaking to, this is a topic that’s really having an impact on women’s lives. Over and out.