To jump or not to jump? That is the question…
Unfortunately in life we have to make some very difficult decisions, and the reason I am writing this post is because I am in the middle of one of them. I won’t go into the details because it isn’t really relevant to this post (it has just inspired me to write it).
Although I have had my fair share of tough times, I haven’t had to make that many major decisions as of yet. I appreciate many people will have far worse decisions to make than the one I am facing, but they will probably go through the same thought process. So I have paid attention to what is going on in my head and written it all down for you guys, in the hope that it might just help someone through a gut-wrenchingly difficult decision.
I guess the first thing you need to do is actually make the decision. The longer you take to decide the more difficult it becomes. You will need to give a fair bit of time and thought to some important decisions, whereas others are best off being sorted sooner rather than later.
It’s the not knowing what could happen that’s the scary part. That’s what makes you feel so terrified. If you leave it for too long it will consume your every thought. You will conjure up 6759840 different possibilities and outcomes, most of which probably aren’t good. So get to it. How will you know if it’s the right decision if you fail to make it at all?
Here are some questions I think you should ask yourself if you need to make a tough decision.
What is your gut instinct?
Of all the questions you ask yourself, ask this one first. Without thinking about all the details, which option is swaying the most? You will probably have made the decision already deep down in your gut you just aren’t ready to deal with the consequences yet. Sometimes we know exactly how we are going to deal with a problem but we need to explore all the options first to then eventually end up with the same conclusion.
Will you look back on this in a month’s time and wonder why you worried so much?
We face some awful decisions in life, we really do. Just take a moment to consider whether this is something you really need to worry about? Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? If so, step back and look at the situation as if you are someone else. Is this a decision that most people would fret over? In a day, week, month or year’s time will you look back and wonder why you got worked up over something so simple? If yes, then try and let it go (although I appreciate if you are a naturally worried this may not be easy).
Are you being cruel to yourself?
If you do find yourself in a very stressful situation, and you are struggling to make a decision, don’t punish yourself for not dealing with it very well. When life throws us a curved ball, we need to be kind to ourselves and recognise that when times are tough it’s OK to feel under pressure.
Are the possible outcomes as bad as you think?
Many of us make the mistake of thinking that all outcomes will be negative and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Well, the chances are your fears may not be as bad as you think. Once you have made the decision you might be able to see the positive side of things more. Over thinking a decision can make it far more difficult so don’t dwell on it for any longer than you need to.
Are you being influenced by others?
When you are making a big decision the worst thing you can do is phone up 20 of your closest friends and family members and get their opinion. Everyones opinions will only confuse you and make you feel more overwhelmed. Plus there’s always the danger of making a decision based on what someone else wants rather than what is actually best for you.
If you are one of those people that needs someone else’s opinion on everything (like me) then just ask one or two people. For example your partner, a parent or your best friend (although it’s still important not to let them influence you too much).
Have you done something to clear your mind?
When your brain is about to explode and you have been thinking about what to do for hours or even days then take some time out. Go and do something which will give you a break from the pressure of making a decision. Go for a walk, do some exercise or see a friend (and talk about anything but the decisions you are facing).
In ten year’s time, will you feel the same way?
Another good question to ask is, in ten year’s time will you still feel the same way? Some of the decisions we make will affect us in the long run and some won’t. However, it is still useful to consider whether or not your feelings about the decision might change over time.
Have you got all the information you need?
Are you properly informed? Have you ask all the right questions? Before making any big decisions make sure you have all the information you need. Minor details can sometimes sway your decision, so make sure you know everything there is to know. However, be careful not to overload yourself with too much information or you will begin to feel overwhelmed.
Am you afraid to make a mistake?
Ask yourself, are you holding back from making a decision or going with one particular choice because you are scared of making a mistake? We all make mistakes and (you guessed it) we learn from them. Life would be pretty boring if you didn’t make any mistakes so don’t let the fear of failure hold you back from trying new things.
Who will this decision affect?
Figure out who the decision might affect. It may just be you, or it could have a ripple on loved ones. There are some decisions (like mine) where you have to try not to think about your needs.
*please not I am not a psychologist, these are just simple tips and ideas. The decisions you make should be based on your opinions, not mine.
