Yesterday I went to a petrol station to get petrol. I parked my car outside the pump, got out my car, went inside the station and was like ‘pump five please’. The man at the till stared at me for a few seconds and I was like what the hell is your problem buddy?? Turns out I hadn’t actually put petrol in my car yet. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like I’m trying to walk through quicksand at the moment, and my mind is so hazy, and I keep stumbling all over the place. I’m in the middle of a massive slump, and no I’m not going through a bad bout of anxiety. I’m pretty convinced I’m feeling crappy because of my pesky hormones, and I haven’t got a clue what’s going on.
Which has made me wonder, do many women really have any idea how hormones change their behaviour? Because I reckon the trials and tribulations of being a female would be much easier to understand if we did. Hell, our poor partners might even understand a bit more clearly why we act all sorts of cray cray. It would be hella nice to know why we just yelled at that poor shop assistant for no reason or cried watching Love Island.
Besides my own hormones, I’ve never really got on with any extra hormones. And by that I’m talking about numerous forms of birth control that give you a good old dose of hormonal fun. A.k.a the pill, the implant, the vaginal ring etc etc. I turn into some sort of hormone induced zombie/emotional wreck, so yeah, I tend to avoid adding any hormones like the plague.
Sorry if this is TMI, but for the last twelve days, I’ve been bleeding, when I shouldn’t be. My body is like WTF is going on, and my mind feels like it’s constantly being dragged through a hedge backwards. Basically my hormones are all over the place. I’d really like to know more about this, why it happens, how it changes your behaviour and what sort of warning signs to look out for. It’s odd that the average women has literally no idea how hormones affects their body, aside from bothering us once a month.
I think when you suffer from mental health issues (in my case anxiety), it’s useful to know more about your body. To be informed about every single thing you put in your body, and how it makes you feel. For example, I can’t handle caffeine, at all, it gives me heart palpitations and makes me feel like the world is going to end. So I tend to try not to ingest it (aside from the occasional accident when I take medicine not knowing it has caffeine in it, watch out for that by the way!).
Other things to be aware of include how certain types of exercise make you feel. In simple terms yoga = calm, relaxed Kiri, kickboxing = hyped up, angry Kiri. And it’s the same with hormones. Sometimes I think I’m suffering from anxiety when really it’s just my hormones messing around with my body and brain. I picture hormones as the people that hold puppet strings, and I’m the puppet. They are having a whale of a time throwing in the odd hormone shaped curved ball and seeing how I act.
This week, thanks to the unwelcomed bleeding, I’ve had to have my coil removed. I was like OK great, let’s get this thing outta me and whatever is going on with my body will end and I can get back on track. WRONG. The bloomin nurse who despite being absolutely lovely didn’t tell me once this little bugger is out of me I’d hit a brick wall. An emotional and physical brick wall that is. After a brief Google (which is always risky with health issues) I realised there’s this thing called the ‘coil crash’. Seriously? I reckon that’s something that may be handy to mention, but I had no idea.
As soon as I had it out (which didn’t hurt by the way in case you are wondering) I felt exhausted. It’s been two days and I still feel like I should be constantly napping on the sofa with a hot water bottle and some serious TLC from the fiance. I’m lethargic, exhausted, anxious and super emotional all rolled into one. I get that having a foreign body removed from my uterus may not make me feel fantastic but I didn’t know I’d feel this crap. And the most annoying part is I don’t know how long it’s going to last for. I guess my hormones need to get back to normal and my uterus needs to figure out why there’s something missing and what it’s supposed to do now.
So that’s what’s going on in my life at the moment. I’m at the mercy of my hormones. Those master manipulators are having a right laugh experimenting with my emotions. Perhaps us women should be taught more about what they really do, why they do it and steps we can take to manage them when they get outta control. These hormones are like a dog that’s been cooped up in a kennel and gets let out for the first time. Calm the f**k down poochy and get back in your kennel, please, just while I get my shizz together.
I realise this post *might* make me sound a tad insane, but as you can see, it’s totally not my fault. It’s the hormones. You know the ones, the ones that make you cry endlessly in the bath when you have nothing to cry about. The ones that make you get a little neurotic when your other half goes on a night out, or absolutely freak the hell out when you realise you’ve accidentally died your hair purple. Let’s just say here’s never a dull moment.
Thankfully, today I’m feeling a bit better, so I’m hoping the effects of having the coil out won’t bother me for too much longer and I can go back to being an absolute girlboss. Wish me luck my lovely ladies.