Ever seen that film called ‘Yes Man’ with Jim Carrey? In case you haven’t, it’s basically a film about a man who one day decides to say yes to everything. As fun and as spontaneous as this might be, it sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. No I do not want to go skydiving or do a bungee jump off a building, that’s not something that’s going to make me happy. No sir.
If you are one of those people who finds it difficult to say no (like me) then watching this film will only make your problems worse. When you say ‘yes’ too much, you often end up doing things that are detrimental and cause you unnecessary stress.
For me, this year in particular has been filled with a lot of yes or no choices. I have mostly ended up putting a tick in the ‘yes’ box. Although I have had so much fun and it’s been exciting and wonderful, I am darn exhausted and it has been a tad stressful. I could have been a bit more selective, but I just hate disappointing people.
However, I am now aware of how I need to look out for myself a little bit more. There are so many positive quotes scattered around the internet, but occasionally I would love to come across some like ‘sometimes you just have to be a little be selfish’ or ‘do whatever the hell you want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do’. There I said it.
If you keep on agreeing to things that you don’t want to do you will never be happy.
It might take a few people to let you down or a particularly silly decision, but eventually you will start to look out for yourself a bit more. In 2016, I really want to focus on the goals and aspirations that my boyfriend and I have. It’s going to be our year (and also a year to try and save a tad more money, which mean saying no to things).
I know how hard it can be to opt out, to turn something down or to be that person who has to let someone down. The thing is, you only get one life, so you should damn well live it how you want to. Do what makes you happy, and say no to the things that don’t. You will get so much more out of life.
One of my goals over the next few months is going to be to be more careful over how I spend my time. This is for both my social and professional life. If you are finding it really difficult to put yourself first and say no sometimes then here are some tips that just might help you to make different choices:
Think things through -Think about how doing something might impact your time and happiness. Carefully consider your decisions instead of always rushing to say yes and dealing with the consequences later. Think about how much time it will take, how much it will cost you and whether it will stress you out or not if you say yes.
Don’t be afraid to look out for number one – Focus on yourself a bit more, try and do things that make you happy. You are the most important person in your life, so it’s OK to occasionally focus on your needs.
Set clear goals – If you have clear goals that you are working towards, it can help you to make the right decisions. You can turn down an expensive social event by having a good (but completely true) excuse ready, such as ‘sorry we are saving for a deposit’. It’s also important to realise that if you don’t say no every once in a while you won’t be able to achieve some of your goals.
Think about what’s really important – When someone asks you to do something, try and think about what is really important. Will doing this favour have an impact on your relationship, will you miss out on doing something else that’s more important to you?
What’s the worst that could happen? – If you say no, what’s the worst that can happen? Is the person who asked you to do something going to really be all that bothered? Will you regret saying no in a few months time, probably not.
Know when you have reached your limit – When you are agreeing to do too much, it becomes pretty clear that you have overstepped the mark. Try and pick up on the early warning signs that you are trying to do too much and re-evaluate your plans.
