Ever have those days where negative thoughts cloud your mind and you just don’t feel very good about yourself? It can be exhausting when you feel like you are not good enough, and your confidence seems to be crumbling. The harsh thoughts we have about ourselves can escalate until we become completely overpowered.
There are times when everything in my life is going perfectly, yet I still find ways of hammering away at my self belief and confidence. Logically I know that I should feel on top of the world, but in reality my mood tells me otherwise. I have a tendency to always expect more from myself, which often means no matter how well I am doing, I always want to achieve more.
These feelings might last a few hours, sometimes a few days and occasionally you go through a few weeks of feeling bad about yourself. You can’t magically make these thoughts go away. Trying to think positive probably won’t eradicate these thoughts right away. However, there are some things you can to do to feel better about yourself. Here’s what to do when you don’t feel good about yourself.
Notice when you are being cruel to yourself
The first thing you need to do is actually notice is when you are being too harsh on yourself. Most of the time, we don’t even notice the nasty thoughts that flow through our brains, but they still manage to drag us down. It’s crazy how harsh we are on ourselves, thinking things that we wouldn’t dream of saying to other people. These thoughts can be very damaging and suffocating. Try and be a little more tuned in to your thought patterns, and when you realise you are thinking cruel thoughts about yourself, simply notice.
Do things to boost your confidence
If you can pinpoint what it is you are feeling bad about, then try and find things that might counteract how you are feeling and make you feel better about yourself. For example, if you are feeling unattractive, go and get a new haircut or get dressed up in your favourite outfit. These things will not solve your problems, but at least for a few moments you will feel like yourself again.
Take some you time
Sometimes you have to be a little bit selfish. If you are feeling bad about yourself, take some time away from everything to do the things you enjoy. Go and get pampered and have a massage, indulge in a spot of retail therapy or focus on a personal project that you are working on.
Remind yourself of your achievements, no matter how small
If you feel like you aren’t achieving anything, then take a moment to reflect on what you have achieved so far. We often forget how far we have come and the things that we have achieved in the past because we are so worried about what the future might hold. Sit down for a few minutes and write down some of the things you are proud of and what you have been able to achieve. It doesn’t have to be a list full of sensational achievements, but small wins and experiences that have shaped who you are today.
Seek comfort from loved ones
Often when we are losing our self confidence we push away the ones we love. Instead of shutting people out, confide in your partner or someone you are close to and explain how you feel. They might be able to do things to boost your confidence and make you feel better about yourself. Often just offloading your thoughts and feelings to a loved one can help you process what’s really going on in your head, and enable you to get to the root of your confidence issues.
I have suggested some things that might potentially help you if your confidence is low. However, I think it’s also important to touch on the things you shouldn’t do….
- Spend time with negative people or people who will feed your confidence issues.
- Constantly compare yourself to other people, this will only make your confidence worse.
- Bury your head in the sand and ignore what you are really feeling, it will catch up with you.
- Overcompensate – working yourself into the ground will only leave you feeling exhausted.
- Be too hard on yourself. Your confidence will never improve if you keep knocking yourself back down again.
- Focus on the things you don’t have rather than the things you have.
- Make rash decisions, when your confidence is low you won’t be thinking logically.
- Read news and consume media messages and images that will just make you feel worse about yourself.
*Image courtesy of Monocromia Photography
