No folks, I’m not saying you need to grab a hot water bottle, give yourself a massage and whisper sweet nothings to yourself. This isn’t about looking after yourself. It’s about learning how to love yourself deep from within (no filth intended there).
I’ve been chatting with my life coach lately, and it seems most of my problems stem from not really liking or believing in myself much at all. It’s as though I feel that I don’t deserve things. I don’t deserve to be happy or successful. When that’s just not true. It’s all in my head.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m one of those deeply competitive people. Not necessarily with other people (though if you challenge me, I will win lol) – but with myself. The main person I want to beat is Kiri. Nothing is ever good enough.
No matter how well I’m doing, I’ll always find a way to panic. And that’s because I don’t feel like I deserve success, in my bloody annoying brain I assume it can be taken away from me at any second. Exhibit A, my business has grown every single year for the last five years by a substantial amount. Yet I still freak out about fail. Whhyyyy???
Does that sound like you? Well, I’m not an expert but from what I’ve discovered – the root cause of a lot of worry is often because we’re not really at ease with who we are.
So I don’t know about you, but my core goal for 2019 is to love myself just a little bit more. I’m not going to write down a billion ways that I could love myself more. Instead, let’s break things down into bitesize pieces. What three things can I start to do right now in order to love myself more?
- Question negative thoughts
As soon as those horrendously detrimental thoughts start to poison your mind, stop them. Picture this, you’re standing at a train station and several trains go by. Some pass without stopping, others stop but you don’t get on them – and then one train comes and you CHOOSE to get on it.
When you embrace negative thoughts, it’s as though you’re CHOOSING to get on that negativity train. So, before you hop onto that thought, wait at the station and consider whether this is a train you really want to get on.
- Do the opposite of what you normally do
Work takes a dip. So what do I do? Drive myself into the ground until I’m overwhelmed with business. What would happen if I just took a step back and realised that I can take a breather and my whole business won’t suddenly collapse?
Instead of instantly creating a negative story around certain scenarios and freaking the hell out. I’ll try to create a new, more positive story which doesn’t involve assuming the worst case scenario.
If you normally behave in a certain way and respond to negative things with the same behaviours – stop. Try to react in a way that’s opposite to what you would normally do. You will start to get completely different results and see things from a new perspective.
- Celebrate successes with no ‘buts’
Do you have a habit of not accepting compliments very well? Say someone compliments you on your hair, saying ‘your hair looks really nice today’. Then you say, ‘thank but I really need it cut.’ Well, you’re not fully accepting that compliment, are you? Embrace it. Be like ‘hell yeah my hair looks fabulous as it is.’
When you have a success, really revel in it. That warm fuzzy feeling? Absorb it like a sponge. We all work out arses off to achieve things, but what’s the point in doing that if you don’t acknowledge your bloomin achievements? Look, I’m not saying jump around the room and scream ‘I’m amazing’. But give yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
See, three simple steps you can start taking right now to improve your wellbeing and happiness. Because you ain’t gonna be happy until you start to appreciate and love yourself unconditionally. I’m not saying I’m there yet. Hell no. I’m clearly not yet at peace with myself. But I’m working on it. I’ll get there. It will be hard and painful and eye-opening, but at the end of the day, my happiness is at stake – and there’s NOTHING more important than that.
By the way, my life coach Antonio Esposito is offering two free places on his Think Lean Formula for 2018. This is an incredible opportunity. Check out his website and this Facebook post if you’re interested.
If you’re interested in life coaching rather than weight loss, check out The Thinking Mind. I’ve been working with Antonio for a few years now and he’s helped me transform my business, achieve my goals and start to change the way I approach things. Our main goal at the moment is to try to change my mindset so I can have a happier and healthier 2019.
