The Unavoidable Pressures Of Being A Female In Your Early Thirties
My god this whole adult thing is hard. But you know what? Being a woman in your early thirties is a very strange time. I kind of feel like I’m stuck in a vacuum. One of life’s black holes.
I keep trying to pop my head out and check if the coast is clear to leave the comfort of this black hole I’ve come to know so well. But the coast isn’t clear. It’s full of speed bumps and hurdles and scary, scary adult stuff. #sendhelp
And, it seems that others just appear to be nailing this adult thing whilst I’m constantly battling to keep my shizz together. I’m in no way saying my life is bad. In fact, it’s pretty darn great. I’ve just married a wonderful man. I’ve got two ahhhmazing pooches, and, I’m kinda #winning at running my own business.
Whilst many of my friends are dealing with buggies and nappies as well as hosting impressive social gatherings in their newly converted enormous houses, I’m trying to scrape every penny together to buy a place of my own. #pleasewillsomeonegivemeamortgage
Gals, lets face it. Everyone expects us to have certain things by our age, and we have constant reminders if we don’t have them. Both verbally from other people and simply by spending time with others. And it’s tough, really tough. When you want your life to be moving in a certain direction and it just, isn’t.
OK so I’ve waffled on a little. Let me summarise my thoughts surrounding the unavoidable pressures of being a female millennial in your early 30’s.
1. Your metabolism suddenly isn’t as good as it used to be.
I’ve been working out every day, so whyyy won’t this blub on my tummy go? Two years ago it would disappear after a few workouts…sob. It’s time to be a *bit* more realistic about how quickly I can burn off that massive bowl of macaroni cheese. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m finding I have to work just that bit harder to get my bod in tip-top condition.
2. You hit a fashion wall
Why does everything I wear look too young? But I also don’t look right in the more mature clothing? Goodbye New Look hello Monsoon. Sigh. I don’t know about you ladies but I’m having a serious early 30’s fashion crisis. No more tight fitted sexy outfits. It’s all about floaty and sophisticated much to my husband’s disappointment. Where should you shop for decent clothes in your early 30’s? How do you solve the not looking too old or too young conundrum?
3. You feel more pressure to keep up appearances, when in reality you can’t be arsed
It feels as though my interest in socialising is diminishing. I’m opting for nights in with my dogs and hubby on the sofa with a glass of vino over meeting friends. I know, it’s bad, but I just feel like I want to focus on what’s most important right now. I’m certainly not going for afternoon tea every weekend and jetting off to wherever my heart desires every month.
Going out for social meals and events adds up, and it can be hard if you feel like you don’t want to keep spending all your money on mojitos, prosecco and dinners out. It sort of feels like your a failure if you’re like nah, we’re just going to stay at home coz lol, we’ve got to somehow come up with the money to buy a house.
4. You feel bad for ditching fringe friends (extended circle)
By now, you just CBA with friends who are loitering on the edges of your inner circle. As the years pass, your priorities change a little. You still adore your friends, it’s just you don’t have enough time and energy to spread your efforts to thinly. So sadly, those friends who you occasionally see and just aren’t that close with may have to be left behind. Soz guys, but we just wanna focus on the people we value the most.
5. And when are you hosting that fabulous dinner party?
Because we all want to show off our lovely homes and prove we’ve got the best wine glasses and furniture. Yeah, I’m not going to be hosting a dinner party yet as we kinda don’t have enough space to have one. It appears that entering your thirties means you do dinner parties instead of drinks and nights out.
6. People asking if you are going to have kids soon
Don’t even get me started on the ‘C’ subject (I mean Children). As soon as you get married or hit your early 30’s you get bombarded with super awkward questions. I can’t believe how many people have asked me if having kids is on the horizon. In my head I’m thinking ‘none of your freaking business‘.
But I usually just come out with a desperately vague response in hope of getting them off the scent. I’ve got friends who have struggled to conceive, and I find it odd how people are so direct with this topic. You don’t know what the person is going through or what that subject means to them. So probs best not to ask, yeah?
7. You beat yourself if you don’t have your dream job/haven’t bought your own house/
Not on a five-figure salary and climbing to the top of the career ladder? As you enter your early thirties, it’s a time when a lot of people appear to be excelling. But what if you’re not sure about your career and not all that interested in becoming the CEO of your own company? Don’t write your story based on how well others are doing, you can create your own masterpiece that’s based on your needs and desires.
So many 30 somethings are living back home again. The housing market doesn’t match what we earn. Getting on the ladder is almost impossible. You practically have to sell your soul and get down on your knees and beg for a mortgage. Why does it seem like our parents and grandparents had it sooo much easier? Well, because, when it comes to buying a property, they probably did.