Health, Life

How To Have More Faith In Yourself – Be More Like Donna From Suits

things we can learn from donna paulsen suits donna is awesome reasons why

Some days your confidence takes an absolute nose dive and you start thinking about all the things you’re supposedly terrible at. You beat yourself up. Some of the horrible words you say to yourself via your mind are so unkind you’d never dream of saying them to another person.

Just consider that for a moment. What are your soul-destroying thoughts really doing to you? They’re holding you back. Like they’re holding me back.

It’s not been the best week. Before the week began I predicted that I’d crumble. And whaddya know, something happened first thing Monday morning that sent me on a negative spiral for the whole week. 

Then, on Wednesday evening I settled down to watch some TV to try and distract my worried mind. Guess who popped up on my screen? Possibly one of the best ever female TV series characters, Donna.

Hi. I’m Donna and I’m awesome.

I read an article awhile back by the actress who plays Donna (Sarah Rafferty), and she said how honoured she was to play someone so confident and inspirational. She also mentioned that she’s not exactly a mirror image of Donna, and like many women, had struggles with her self-esteem.

If you haven’t seen Suits, give it a go. Firstly, it’s a decent TV series (although we’re struggling a bit towards the end), but most importantly, Donna is massively inspiring. It’s just the way she carries herself. She oozes confidence, and therefore, sex appeal. It’s a choice. She chooses to act this way, and the effect she has on people gets them to do some pretty handy things.

So after my not so great week, where I’d spent pretty much 24/7 beating myself up about how I’m failing in many ways. I was like, why can’t I be more like Donna? The truth is, I can. We all can. We just have to change our mindset and choose to act differently. You have to choose to believe you are worth it, and deserve to be loved, respected and cherished.

Another awesome thing about Donna is not just how she makes herself feel, but how she makes others feel. She’s not one of these uber confident annoying people who are too big for their own boots. She gets the self-confidence balance just right, and she is considerate towards other people. She helps other characters in the show, like Lewis, Rachel and Harvey believe in themselves.

Since deciding I want to be more like Donna, I haven’t exactly made a huge amount of progress. I’m still being very cruel to myself. So I thought it would help to list the things she does that I’d like to try and channel and use to my advantage. Then maybe I might have more of a self-confidence strategy, and hopefully you will too!

You know what’s really annoying – I just Googled ‘things we can learn from Donna Suits’. And what I got was a load of results on how to be more like Harvey. Now that’s a kick in the teeth, Donna is clearly the more inspirational of the two! Stupid Google.

Anyways let’s crack on shall we.

Here are seven things you can learn from Donna Paulsen from suits.

1. Own it – accept & celebrate who you are

Donna absolutely nails this. She knows who she is, and she’s not afraid to show the world. At the age of 30,  think I’m starting to get an idea of who I am. But I’m not quite able to own it yet. There are times when I’m like ‘hey, maybe I’m a pretty good person’, and ‘there’s clearly things people like about me’. But other times I’m like ‘you’re a failure and completely unlikeable.’

I am not apologising for who I am.

This is something Donna says, and I’m going to try and keep it at the back of my mind. The next time I worry about acting like me, I’m going to repeat this phrase, like a mantra.

2. Know your worth

Know how much you’re worth. Acknowledge where your talents lie. If you’re a freelancer, recognise how good you are at what you do, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you’re employed, don’t let your boss take advantage, know how much you’re worth to your company. Donna knows how important she is to Pearson Specter Litt, and she reaps the rewards because of it. It’s time to start believing in yourself.

The genius of Donna is everyday.

3. Walk with confidence

Literally. Walk down the road as if you own it. Think about how your posture comes across to other people, as well as yourself. If you walk around like you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t. The way we carry ourselves can have an enormous impact on how confident we feel. Imagine how Donna might walk into her office every day and you get the picture.

4. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there

Sometimes, to grow in confidence, you have to step out of your comfort zone. I’m really struggling with this one at the moment. I work from home and I need to venture out more and attend events/networking events – yet I don’t.

I sit at home pondering over whether I could still make an impression like I used to, and if I’ve got the confidence to really sell myself, or even simply interact with people. I’m not taking my own advice yet, but I hope to. When I’m a little bit stronger I’m going to push myself that little bit more to go outside of my safety net.

5. Focus on your strengths, not weaknesses

Do you hear Donna saying anything negative about herself? Unless she’s reflecting on a decision or recognising when she’s in the wrong, she doesn’t really talk about her weaknesses. Most of the words that come out her mouth regarding herself are hugely empowering and positive. So spend some time thinking about what you’re good at rather than dwelling on your incompetencies.

6. Don’t allow other people to break you

How can you have faith in yourself if you let other people’s negative words break you? People are mean, careless, unthoughtful and downright dumb. The world is a horrible place sometimes. It’s how we deal with the tough times that shapes us.

I take far too much notice of what other people say about me. It frustrates the hell out of me. I’m far too sensitive. I take things to heart. So one of my current #lifegoals is to do my best not to let other people break me. Although I do have to admit it happened this week, someone managed to ruin my happiness for the entire week.

I shouldn’t allow people to do this. Otherwise I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life. It’s all about accepting love and kindness from the people who truly care and getting rid of anyone who drags you down. In the words of Donna…

And I have better things to do with my time than to be spoken to like that.

7. Learn to love yourself

Stop hating on yourself. Imagine you are in a relationship with yourself. Nurture yourself with kind comments, love every part of your personality. If you can’t learn to love yourself, you won’t be able to accept love from anyone else. You won’t be happy, ever.

This is one of my biggest problems, I don’t love myself yet. I don’t think I’m worthy of people’s adoration. I know how bad this is, and I’m starting to notice it, and question it. I hope someday I can be more like Donna and truly love myself inside and out.

Here’s how Donna sees herself..

Yeah, I’m remembered fondly everywhere.

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