How To Avoid Making The Wrong Decisions When Obsession Takes Over

obsessive personality obsessing over things

So lately I have been discovering something new about myself. Something I have always known deep down, but until recently it hasn’t really registered. Events that have occurred in the last few months have shown me that once I set my sights on something, I will do whatever it takes to get it. This is both a blessing and a curse.

It’s a blessing because professionally, it helps me to achieve my goals. I will work my ass off in order to be successful.Often people in the business world say ‘if you want something, take it’ or ‘you can achieve anything you set your mind to (something my dad always used to tell me).’

As useful as it can be to want something badly, that same intense emotion can get in the way of achieving the thing you want. (Science Mag)

I am obsessed with my work, and sometimes I don’t know when to stop. I might wake up in the middle of the night with an idea and have to get up and write all my thoughts down. I guess that’s part of being a writer, and I have managed my obsession so that I do get a decent work-life balance

Most people I know are aware that I want another rescue dog, and this is an obsession that I struggle to control. Most days I annoy my boyfriend by posting pictures of cute rescue dogs on his wall. Even though I know I can’t have another dog just yet, I torture myself by relentlessly searching rescue sites. Sometimes when you want something so badly you are blinded by your obsession, and you can’t see the potential downside of getting what you want. According to Science Mag

It’s good to want something, but wanting it too much, or appearing to, can be a problem.

I can also be quite impulsive when it comes to my hair and appearance, and once I get an idea in my head of a particular style I want, I have get it asap. This doesn’t always end well, I dyed my hair bright red once and it looked soooo bad. I suppose you have to make these mistakes in order to learn, and realise that you might have acted too spontaneously, and perhaps should have thought things through.

I am not talking about obsessive compulsive disorder here, because I am not like that at all. In fact, I do the opposite. I am quite messy and laid back when it comes to having things in order. The type of obsessiveness I am talking about is the impulsive need to have something you want. Imagine longing for something so badly that you can’t think about anything else until you get what you want or achieve your goal. I think these definitions describe it best.

Excessive often to an unreasonable degree.

Excessive in degree or nature: an obsessive need to win.

So if you start feeling like this, how can you channel it in a healthy way? If you just can’t stop thinking about something you want, whether it’s a new car, a house, a dog, an engagement ring, a holiday or a dream job then these tips just might help (I am no expert, this is just based on my experience).

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Write down the pros and cons

Don’t just consider the pros and cons in your head, because your mind will naturally be swaying towards the pros. When you want something really badly you convince yourself that it’s a good idea regardless of the risks. Put pen to paper and actually write down the pros and cons of your obsession. Then say them out loud, and then explain them to a loved one. This will help give you some clarity

Evaluate things when you are feeling calm

Don’t make decisions or think about things when you are worked up or completely absorbed by something. When you know you are calm and thinking logically, then you can evaluate things with a clear head. Chances are if you are wanting something very badly then in that moment you may not make the right decision.

Don’t act on impulse

This is probably the best piece of advice for those who tend to latch onto an idea and not let it go. As soon as that idea pops into your head, let it sit for a while, don’t act out. Give yourself enough time to think things through before you rush into doing something silly.

Get opinions from people you value

You don’t need to listen to everyone around you, only the people you value the most. They will most likely know what’s best for you, and can help you make the right decision. A loved one may understand just how much you want something, but also be able to see the potential pitfalls of having it.

Take a break/switch off/create distance

Try not to feed your obsession. Once you decide you want something or want to do something, instead of obsessing over it, take some time out. Don’t do things that will remind you of it. In order to make the right decision you will need some distance. For example if you are obsessed with getting a new pair of shoes, stop browsing the internet trying to find the perfect pair.

Will getting what you want create extra stress?

This is so important. When making any decision you need to think about whether saying yes or doing something will put you under stress. Nothing is more important than your health, no matter how bad you want something. Your happiness is far more important.

Admit that your vision is blurred

If you really badly want to do something, then your vision will probably be blurred. A lot of people then won’t accept that they are seeing things with rose tinted glasses. Admit that you might not be thinking things through properly and you will have a better chance of making the right decision.

 

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