Sitting on our sofa, waiting for the Prime Minister’s announcement, knowing what the outcome may be was positively nervewracking. Even though we knew these measures would most likely be put in place, hearing a glum-looking Boris put the restrictions into words was chilling. It’s something that obviously needed to happen, because you can’t get a nation of nearly 68 million to do as their told, apparently.
There are the sensible people who understand the threat, and then there are the idiots who mindlessly spread Covid-19 to a shocking amount of people. These idiots need laws and consequences in order to encourage them to comply. And even then a scary amount of people still say fuck this I’m just going to do what I want. Well, they’re making it worse for all of us, and it’s going to result in things get far more strict than we feel comfortable with. Even we fail to follow guidelines, a lot of people will die. It’s as simple as that.
Anyway, enough of me ranting, God knows we’ve had enough of people sharing their not so expert opinions and shaming people. The purpose of this post isn’t for me to frantically demand everyone stays at home, because my voice won’t make a difference. Collectively we have to work together. The reason I wanted to write this post is because we’ve entered an unknown period of history with restrictions being placed upon us that perhaps many of us assumed would never happen, ever. Yet here we are. We can’t leave our homes unless it’s for specific reasons. As you’ve probably heard a lot of people say, it all feels a tad apocalyptic.
We can only leave the house for food, medical attention, essential work or to help someone who is vulnerable. Don’t quote me on that, check the .gov website for official clarification. Every aspect of our daily lives has changed. The majority of us can’t work, many have lost their jobs. And we live in fear that whenever we do have to venture out, an invisible killer (Covid-19) may find its way into our body.
But it’s important during these extremely difficult times we find ways to stay positive. At the moment, I’m just taking each day as it comes. I’m saying to myself, ‘all I know is right now, in this moment, I’m healthy and I’m with my family.’ I get to spend more time with my husband and baby daughter Elka, who is nearly five months old.
As an anxiety sufferer, this is one of the biggest mental challenges I’ve faced. Fighting the panic brewing inside me is very difficult. I’m keeping it at bay, just, but I’m a bubbling volcano and I could burst at any point. I’m trying to keep going, keep fighting and battle against my worst-case scenario thinking – and it’s exhausting.
I listen to the news, read stories online, get messages from friends and it’s all terrifying and painfully depressing. But when I look at Elka’s little face and she smiles like a Cheshire cat, the world is suddenly OK again. It’s quite nice how blissfully unaware she is, and how we can pretend that life is normal when we’re with her. I know I have to be as strong as I can, for her.
People are scared, but on the whole, those of us who understand the gravity of the situation are trying our best to pull together and help each other out. It’s definitely a test of human nature. Will we fight in supermarket aisles over toilet roll and soap, or will we band together and stand united???
What’s going on has shaken the nation, and the world to the core. But my god is it going to make many of us appreciate the simple things in life. It’s humbling us. Suddenly having to worry not only about having the funds to put food on the table, but finding enough food in the shops is difficult. We are all feeling vulnerable and I don’t know about you, but it’s making me question my approach to life, my way of life, and even my very existence.
Life goals that were so important to me just months ago now seem embarrassingly insignificant. My new post Coronavirus life goals will simply involve spending time with and appreciating loved ones, doing things to make me happy, staying healthy and having a roof over our head. I’d love to eventually be mortgage-free (preferably before I’m 70 years of age) so that we don’t have to stress about losing our house when the shit hits the fan as it has in 2020. I also think I will eliminate a lot of the finer things in life I thought I needed, when I don’t.
As more and more of my clients put projects on hold (and businesses collapse), I’m sure I will have a bit more time on my hands. Even though what the world is going through right now is horrendous, I think it’s important to document it. And not just in the form of news stories, but by people writing diaries, or ‘web logs’ if you will (a.k.a blogs).
I’m going to aim to write a post every couple of days detailing life in lockdown, with a little baby and two huskies. I hope in years to come it sheds some light on just how crazy things got, and maybe my daughter will read this and discover what her first few months on earth was really like – without her baby rose-tinted glasses on…
So, on day one of the lockdown, what did I do to pass the time? I did yoga outside in my garden, I spent about an hour brushing my extremely hairy husky, I sat in the sunshine and I went for a really, really long dog walk in the countryside. I’m so thankful to live in a place where I can go on such varied walks and escape away from all the stress.
That’s it for day one. Over and out. See you in a couple of days.
