As you battle through life you’ll no doubt come across a bunch of negative people.
We all have ‘enablers’ in our life. People who encourage us to follow our dreams and support us as we work towards reaching them (shout out to my amazing hubby).
And then there are the people that give off negative energy from every single pore on their body. The disablers.
The (dare I say it) haters. Though it must be noted that the disablers aren’t always people who dislike you or don’t want you to do well, they can just be people that want you to succeed, but they’re scared you will fail. And then there are the really sneaky ones who deep down can’t stand the idea of you becoming a great success (hello green monster).
No matter what sort of idiots are showering you with negative comments. Don’t. Let. Them. Get. In. Your. Way. I’ll give you a HUGE tip as to how I stopped these people from getting to me. I tried this new thing – not caring what people think. I can’t say I’m a complete pro at it yet, but I’ve certainly made some big progress (another shout out to my life coach Antonio Esposito).
Start making decisions for yourself. Have confidence in your vision and don’t let anyone burst your oh so ambitious bubble. Over the years I’ve had some pretty harsh words thrown at me from a whole range of people. I’m not special. That’s normal. You just have to learn to believe in yourself and trust your decisions. I thought I’d share some examples with you of things people told me I couldn’t do but I bloody well did anyway.
- Start my own business
Photo by Green Chameleon
Don’t leave the safety of your agency job that pays a decent salary they said. Why would you risk throwing that security away they said. Well, folks, security isn’t always a good thing. If we all lived our lives feeling completely safe and secure in everything we did it would be hard to get out of our comfort zone and do anything remotely exciting or challenging.
It actually took hitting rock bottom for me to be like screw this, I don’t bloody care. I can’t stay working in this job, my talents will be better served elsewhere. And yeah, being signed off work due to stress definitely wasn’t a good sign that I was in the right job. #thankyouinternalwarningsystem
When I told people ‘I’m going to become a freelance writer and work for myself’, many of my nearest and dearest freaked out. But, I did it anyway, and guess what – I succeeded and came out sooo much better off. Yay for me.
- Build my own team
Photo by rawpixel
You’re just a freelance writer, you can’t build a team and be successful. Why wouldn’t you just stick to what you’re good at? Ermm because I want to keep pushing myself to achieve more and open up more doors. I bet when I first launched The Content Wolves a few people were probably thinking, here we go, another one of Kiri’s big ideas. They may even have laughed at the idea of me creating a ‘pack’ of writers with wolf names. Laugh all you want. I did it and my business is thriving.
- Take on two rescue dogs
Image by Kristida photography
You’ve not got the space. Dogs are expensive and a huge commitment, are you sure you want to give up your freedom like that? Yes, I’m sure. Because there’s nothing I love more in life than spending time with dogs. #crazydoglady4life
People thought I was a bit nuts taking on a one-year-old collie husky rescue. Probably because those two breeds are very high energy and need lots of exercise. But that’s perfect for me because I like a dog that I can go out running with. It’s a match made in heaven. And lots of people have a negative impression of rescue dogs and try to put you off getting them! Ignore!
People thought I was even crazier when I announced I wanted to adopt a second dog. We tried two dogs and failed (our female wasn’t so keen on the first two). It was hard, but we eventually found a husky called Rav – and he’s an absolute ray of sunshine. Sometimes, having two dogs is a bit of a handful, I’ll agree on that. But it’s 100% worth it because I love my little wolf pack.
- Buy a house
Photo by Craig McLachlan (not my actual house)
We’re sooooo incredibly close to buying our first house. Yes, we’re cracking on before the B word (Brexit) – we must be nuts. If I’m honest, my younger self would have assumed I’d have bought a house about five years ago, not at the ripe old age of 32.
But life, and reality hit. It’s extremely hard to get on the housing ladder, unless, like some of my friends, you get given a nice lump of cash from your parents. I just don’t think it would be the same if someone just handed me the money for our deposit – we’ve earned this.
And we’ve done it pretty much by ourselves, despite the odds and the current climate. People probably thought we wouldn’t be where we are after living at my mums and saving for just under a year – but hard work and determination has made this dream happen.
- Become world champion
OK, even I only half believe this one. Technically by competing in a world series and coming top of the rankings (when I was 14), I guess I can call myself a world champ. In the world champs I came 5th once, so that’s probably more accurate. I grew up doing sport. A lot of people doubted me. In fact, I think the person who doubted me the most was ME. I didn’t believe it could happen, but I guess in this instance I ignore my inner demons and did it anyway.
- Have a work/life balance
Me and everyone I knew ten years ago. ‘What’s that? An existence where you actually have a life, and freedom?! Lollll. As if.’
Me now ‘I’m never working for anyone else ever again I LIVE for a good work-life balance.’
Sure, being freelance has its challenges. But the upsides, oh they’re awesome. If I want to go for brunch with a friend on a Tuesday morning, I can go. I simply work a bit later.
If I need to take some time to cheer myself up or sort myself out, I can take it. I just love the freedom that my career offers and I probably don’t appreciate it quite enough. If people tell you that you can’t have a work-life balance or encourage working yourself into the ground, take a step back. If that’s not you, you can carve your own path.
- Work with dogs
Before I left my job working for a digital marketing agency, I had dreams of combining my writing with working with dogs. I did a course in canine behaviour and dog grooming. One of my colleagues at the time kind of sniggered when he found out I wanted to work with dogs. That’s just a ‘hobby’ he said. I could sense the judgement in his voice.
But I ignored him, knowing he was just lacking in knowledge and did it anyway. While I was building my freelance writing empire, I spent time shadowing dog trainers and working in dog grooming salons. Now, I write about dogs for pet websites. If I had listened to that colleague I wouldn’t have had these experiences.
- Have a wedding on a reasonable budget
Image by Kristida Photography
There’s a common assumption that if you want a proper wedding you have to spend between £20,000 and £30,000 (if not more). We wanted to get married, but we had more important things we wanted to be able to have to, like a house and a family. We didn’t want to throw away a ridiculous amount of money on one day. People didn’t think we’d be able to stick to our budget and still have a fab wedding, and we did. It was just perfect and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I hope some of these examples are relatable. I’d love to hear your stories of things you achieved despite being told otherwise. Feel free to share them below.
I’ll leave you with the wise words of Taylor Swift.
Coz the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate…I’m just gonna shake shake shake, shake it off, shake it off.